Sunday, October 3, 2010

Yeah. I do think about Guys when I'm flying. :P

Note. I'm new to blogging. Plus I'm prone to writing stuff that rules the world of non-sensible matter and I do stuff others just hate. ;) 
So, Get the picture? 

First of all, I have no idea what i'm just going to write about. o.O 
So,Yeah. I've just reached USA And Since i've sat in the plane. I'm thinking about one thing and that thing only.
I don't care about how silly and girlie I sound write now. But yeah. Because, My so called past. (Which doesn't actually exist) is all about me saying no to all the guys who've um,asked me out? -.-
People actually think I'm afraid of getting myself into something like a relationship. So I thought I better reveal it in my blog. That It's not fear which just keeps me from getting close to someone. 
It's actually the thought that there's actually no point of all this,is it? 
Sometimes I feel like i should get in a relationship with a guy i know. Sometimes I just puke at the thought of it. 
Sometimes I think there's nothing bad in having a boyfriend. Having someone close. O.o 
And sometimes I think I have enough friends. 
It's not that i'm not attracted to boys or anything. ~.~ 
It's just that I pull myself from doing anything like that, For NO.FUCKING.REASON. :| 
Because Sometimes I really do get myself thinking about how I wont mind a friend who is ready to get together at any time becoming my boyfriend. And the other times. I just don't want to think about it. -.- -.- -.-
Sometimes I think it's because of the amount of heart-broken girlfriends and betraying boyfriends I've come across. About how unfaithful and trust-breaking guys are. In many cases, The girls are too. 
It's maybe because of my tendency to take things seriously and thinking about it again and again and just never letting the thought go? 
About how I just can't trust anybody because of the things going around. The fact that inspite of convincing myself that I don't think all guys are alike, I DO think all of them are the same. Noone can be trusted. Atleast in my NeverNeverLand of Distrustful bastards and cheating morons. ;) 
And at other times. I feel like I HAVE to take risks Because what's life without some adventure. xP 

And yeah. Also the fact that I don't believe in love. Yeah. I said the word. 'LOVE'.
Because on the face, Everybody's like 'I love you forever' and then you find them sleeping with someone else the next hour. -.- 
Maybe because I haven't felt it and don't believe it's anything more than the work of Phenilythymine in the brain cells which attracts us to the other sex through chemical reactions in our sanity stabilising Medular Sheath. O.o

I have no idea if guys find me attractive or not. Neither do I have an idea what's get them into asking me out. Even though only three have done it till now. I do wonder about it whenever I don't have materialistic stuff to think about. *Yawn* 
Because,whenever my mind is convinced about some guy i'm attracted to. Something or the other just changes the course of events. :\
Maybe I'm just not ready. Or just confused. Or just don't get guys I think are worth to be with? Or my hopes are too high. -.- 
Maybe I only fall for guys who are already taken. O.o 
Or Maybe I'm too young. :| 
Or whatever. I don't know what's the reason. -.- 
It's just disturbing and keeps coming back to my mind like some wind flowing across grass stealing away the scent and just not anyone get the idea that the fragnance ever existed. (: 

So yeah. I know it seems like I don't have other things to do. But If you ever put yourself in my situation. You may understand. :P  
I'm done. ;) :D
Ciao,Everyone. ;) 

Yeah man. I'm done. O.o